What is your problem?

When someone goes to doctor with an illness, the doctor diagnoses the disease by enquiring and analysing. Once the root cause of illness is identified, the medicines are targeted to cure the cause and it relieves the symptoms first and ultimately cures the disease. Patient only knows the problem that he is facing and that problem (i.e. symptoms) is solved not by focusing on the problem but on the problem beneath the problem (i.e. disease), once the root cause is diagnosed the cure becomes easy.

Same applies to all problems in this world. 

If the problem is that ‘my relation with my kids is not so good’, to find cure, identify the problem beneath, that is the root cause of it. Analyse to find the root problem. Do I try to understand what they want? Do they need some liberty? Do they need some space? Do they need support? Do I try to explain them or always order? Do I impose myself on them always?

We need to ask ourself, so many questions, to diagnose the root problem. Once the root problem is identified, start to work in the right direction to get the root problem solved. Focus on solving the root problem and ultimately the problem will be solved.

I am not able to lose weight, if this is the problem, to find cure, identify the root problem by asking questions. Do I make efforts to be fit and healthy? Do I exercise? Do I eat healthy? Do I manage my time to plan for exercise? Do I motivate myself to stick to the plans? Do I have control on my cravings? Do I visualise myself to be fit? Are my efforts enough?

Identifying the root problem, aids in curing the problem fast.

Problems can be personal or professional, related to self or to relationships. Effective solution can be achieved only when the focus is on curing the root problem. To solve the problem faster, spend some time to identify the root problem and work towards curing it.

Free your life of the problems that are not problems. Identify the root problems and focus on solving them.

…. Write your problem in the comment below, or message me personally. Let us find the root problem to find the cure faster. 

Define Failure, don't let it define you

Who likes to fail?

“No one” 

But the reality is, failure is more evident than success.  We all must have faced failure at least once in our life, and it feels really bad. Whether it is a failure in career or failure in relationships, failure in professional life or failure in personal life, failure of any kind and any variety is always disgusting. Failure makes you feel helpless, shattered, devastated, demotivated, frustrated, distressed and depressed. 

When you fail, you engulf yourself with the feeling of sadness and your world becomes so gloomy.  

At that time, just let the feeling of lowness prevail for some time, don’t force it to fade. But also, don’t let it stay forever. Failure is a part of life, just like some disease. Don’t carry failures as a burden throughout your life, don't make it a cancer. 

Snooze for some time and don’t go into the power off mode.

Spend time to analyze the failure, rethink, rework and strategize again to bounce back. Learn from the failures and redefine success.

“BOUNCE BACK” with more enthusiasm.

Most of the success stories of the world, are the stories of failure. It is easy to fail, but difficult to rise again to succeed. A person who have never failed, have never learnt anything new. Failure is the best teacher.

Be failureproof.  

Enjoy life. 

Parenting yourself!

I have a relative, she is a mom of two. I feel that being a mother is the biggest project of her life. 

Full day she keeps herself so much occupied with her kids. Her day entirely revolves around her kids, she wakes up at a time that suits her kids and sleeps at a time that suits them. The activities of her day are planned totally around her kids, feeding her kids on time, teaching them discipline, helping them in their school work, making them excel in school, enabling them to learn as many skills as possible, be their bodyguard wherever they go, and the list is long.

Even when her kids are not around, she is busy planning for them. Organising their wardrobes, scheduling their day and planning their meals.

She is too much into her kids, that she even forgets herself. Many times she even forgets to comb her hair, to eat her meals on time and pay attention to her body requirements. 

Being a mother of two myself, I can fully relate to her, but I don’t think that to be a mother, you have to completely ignore your existence. You were a woman before being a mother and you had your own identity. You wanted to exist in this world because of your own interest in living. In the pursuit of making others (esp. your kids) happy, why ignore yourself completely?

Same applies to the fathers as well, when the target of your life becomes, giving best education, best standard of living and best facilities to your kids, you forget that you also exist in their life.

If something is of the utmost importance in your kids life, then that is 'YOU', their parents. They need their parents, more than anything else. You took the responsibility to bring them in this world to make your world beautiful and now your focus entirely shifted from you to them. 

Enjoy life with them, by being good to yourself first. Nurture yourself, spend some time on yourself, have some passion, learn something new everyday and add value to your identity. When you are happy, you spread the happiness around. 

Parenting has to work both sides. Be a good parent to yourself. 

Parent your kids, after you parent yourself. 

#Loveyourself

#breakfreefromstress

Effortless Happiness!

Don't make efforts to be happy, just be happy.

I was having discussion with Ms. X (let us focus on the message and not the name) yesterday. She was very upset, due to long list of her problems, which didn’t seem to be so critical to me. 

So, I asked her, what will make you happy? She said when my daughter will get married, I will be happy. 

So, you want to say that your daughter’s marriage will be the end of all your worries? She paused for a moment and replied, “How can I say that?”

Then how can you say that your daughter’s marriage will make you happy? Your happiness should not be linked to an achievement or an event. Let your happiness be independent. When you make efforts to be happy, you are always in search of those moments that can make you happy.

“When I will go on Holiday, I will be happy.”

“When I get promotion, I will be happy.”

“When my kids will grow up, I will be happy.”

“When my sales increases, I will be happy.”

And the list never ends…

Why wait for happiness, why not start practising being happy now only. Why look for the reasons to be happy. If you find it difficult to be happy, just do something to make others happy, and that happiness will come back to you. The more you give, the more you get back.

Don’t run after happiness, just be in present and enjoy the moment. Appreciate what you have and don’t focus on have nots. 

Life is too short to waste it on hunt for happiness. Happiness is not the goal, it’s the part of life.Embrace every moment happily, try to be in acceptance mode and not denial mode.

Remember: If you are not happy now, you will not be happy then.

So, Just be HAPPY!!!

How healthy you are?

Your health status is determined by taking a total of your Physical wellbeing, Mental wellbeing and Social wellbeing.

Physical fitness is determined by quality of your life and can be attained mainly by three things: Diet, exercise and lifestyle. Eating healthy, exercising regularly and maintaining healthy lifestyle (no smoking, etc.) can ensure your physical fitness.

Mental wellbeing is determined by the quality of your thoughts. A positive person is a fruit of all seasons. Every person has to face challenges in life, but those who are mentally fit will find it easy to sail through and will also help others to sail through.

Social wellbeing is determined by the quality of your connections (friends and relatives). A connected person is well supported person. If your heart thinks about others and you have the sense of belonging, you are socially fit.

Assess yourself on these three parameters and try to improve your health if there is the need.

May god bless each one of us, with good health.

#breakfreefromstress
#livehealthy
#thinkhealthy
#stayhealthy

 — feeling positive.

Habits vs Values #positiveparenting

Yesterday, I met a lady, who is working full time for a 9 to 6 job. Her 6 year old daughter named Nancy, is looked after by her nanny, when she is in office.

The lady labeled herself as a bad mom, as she could not develop good habits in Nancy. After a long discussion, I could find out that her worry was that, Nancy don't eat on time, don't change her clothes on time, don't put her plates in the sink after eating, don't clean her room after playing, don't sleep without listening to story and so on.

I then asked her about some good things Nancy does, it was, Nancy hugs her tightly when she reaches home and is happy to see her parents, she loves to play with other kids and never fights with them, she shares her meal with the nanny and try to add more to nanny's plate, she helps in household chores whenever asked for (thou little efforts), she tells many self made stories, she daily updates her about her day, she loves to go to temple and donate.

Finally, I ensured her, that she is doing a fantastic job as a mother, by imbibing good values in Nancy.

Habits may keep on changing throughout life, but it is the values that builds the foundation. Circumstances may be, good or bad, but a person with strong values will always stand high between the turbulent storms.

Focus on developing values, not habits of your kids.

To all lovely Moms, break free from stress.

#breakfreefromstress

#positiveparenting

Don't open the Door....

Has it ever happened to you when someone has knocked at your door and you didn't want to open door for them.

After some continuous knocks on the door, you did not reply and they ended up returning back, without entering your place, because you did not want them to enter.  So you didn't open your doors to them. You saw them returning from your door.

How you felt after that?

Happy, Relaxed and at peace...

The same principle should be applied daily for the disturbing thoughts which want to enter into your mind.

Don't open the door of your mind for them, don't let those thoughts enter your mind and let them knock hard on your door. Finally when the door doesn't open, they will have to return.

Start practicing it now, to be at peace with yourself.

You can easily identify the disturbing thoughts which are not going to add anything to your life. Why to entertain them?

Just Don't open the door to them. Let them go away.