Parenting yourself!

I have a relative, she is a mom of two. I feel that being a mother is the biggest project of her life. 

Full day she keeps herself so much occupied with her kids. Her day entirely revolves around her kids, she wakes up at a time that suits her kids and sleeps at a time that suits them. The activities of her day are planned totally around her kids, feeding her kids on time, teaching them discipline, helping them in their school work, making them excel in school, enabling them to learn as many skills as possible, be their bodyguard wherever they go, and the list is long.

Even when her kids are not around, she is busy planning for them. Organising their wardrobes, scheduling their day and planning their meals.

She is too much into her kids, that she even forgets herself. Many times she even forgets to comb her hair, to eat her meals on time and pay attention to her body requirements. 

Being a mother of two myself, I can fully relate to her, but I don’t think that to be a mother, you have to completely ignore your existence. You were a woman before being a mother and you had your own identity. You wanted to exist in this world because of your own interest in living. In the pursuit of making others (esp. your kids) happy, why ignore yourself completely?

Same applies to the fathers as well, when the target of your life becomes, giving best education, best standard of living and best facilities to your kids, you forget that you also exist in their life.

If something is of the utmost importance in your kids life, then that is 'YOU', their parents. They need their parents, more than anything else. You took the responsibility to bring them in this world to make your world beautiful and now your focus entirely shifted from you to them. 

Enjoy life with them, by being good to yourself first. Nurture yourself, spend some time on yourself, have some passion, learn something new everyday and add value to your identity. When you are happy, you spread the happiness around. 

Parenting has to work both sides. Be a good parent to yourself. 

Parent your kids, after you parent yourself. 

#Loveyourself

#breakfreefromstress

Effortless Happiness!

Don't make efforts to be happy, just be happy.

I was having discussion with Ms. X (let us focus on the message and not the name) yesterday. She was very upset, due to long list of her problems, which didn’t seem to be so critical to me. 

So, I asked her, what will make you happy? She said when my daughter will get married, I will be happy. 

So, you want to say that your daughter’s marriage will be the end of all your worries? She paused for a moment and replied, “How can I say that?”

Then how can you say that your daughter’s marriage will make you happy? Your happiness should not be linked to an achievement or an event. Let your happiness be independent. When you make efforts to be happy, you are always in search of those moments that can make you happy.

“When I will go on Holiday, I will be happy.”

“When I get promotion, I will be happy.”

“When my kids will grow up, I will be happy.”

“When my sales increases, I will be happy.”

And the list never ends…

Why wait for happiness, why not start practising being happy now only. Why look for the reasons to be happy. If you find it difficult to be happy, just do something to make others happy, and that happiness will come back to you. The more you give, the more you get back.

Don’t run after happiness, just be in present and enjoy the moment. Appreciate what you have and don’t focus on have nots. 

Life is too short to waste it on hunt for happiness. Happiness is not the goal, it’s the part of life.Embrace every moment happily, try to be in acceptance mode and not denial mode.

Remember: If you are not happy now, you will not be happy then.

So, Just be HAPPY!!!

How healthy you are?

Your health status is determined by taking a total of your Physical wellbeing, Mental wellbeing and Social wellbeing.

Physical fitness is determined by quality of your life and can be attained mainly by three things: Diet, exercise and lifestyle. Eating healthy, exercising regularly and maintaining healthy lifestyle (no smoking, etc.) can ensure your physical fitness.

Mental wellbeing is determined by the quality of your thoughts. A positive person is a fruit of all seasons. Every person has to face challenges in life, but those who are mentally fit will find it easy to sail through and will also help others to sail through.

Social wellbeing is determined by the quality of your connections (friends and relatives). A connected person is well supported person. If your heart thinks about others and you have the sense of belonging, you are socially fit.

Assess yourself on these three parameters and try to improve your health if there is the need.

May god bless each one of us, with good health.

#breakfreefromstress
#livehealthy
#thinkhealthy
#stayhealthy

 — feeling positive.

Habits vs Values #positiveparenting

Yesterday, I met a lady, who is working full time for a 9 to 6 job. Her 6 year old daughter named Nancy, is looked after by her nanny, when she is in office.

The lady labeled herself as a bad mom, as she could not develop good habits in Nancy. After a long discussion, I could find out that her worry was that, Nancy don't eat on time, don't change her clothes on time, don't put her plates in the sink after eating, don't clean her room after playing, don't sleep without listening to story and so on.

I then asked her about some good things Nancy does, it was, Nancy hugs her tightly when she reaches home and is happy to see her parents, she loves to play with other kids and never fights with them, she shares her meal with the nanny and try to add more to nanny's plate, she helps in household chores whenever asked for (thou little efforts), she tells many self made stories, she daily updates her about her day, she loves to go to temple and donate.

Finally, I ensured her, that she is doing a fantastic job as a mother, by imbibing good values in Nancy.

Habits may keep on changing throughout life, but it is the values that builds the foundation. Circumstances may be, good or bad, but a person with strong values will always stand high between the turbulent storms.

Focus on developing values, not habits of your kids.

To all lovely Moms, break free from stress.

#breakfreefromstress

#positiveparenting

Don't open the Door....

Has it ever happened to you when someone has knocked at your door and you didn't want to open door for them.

After some continuous knocks on the door, you did not reply and they ended up returning back, without entering your place, because you did not want them to enter.  So you didn't open your doors to them. You saw them returning from your door.

How you felt after that?

Happy, Relaxed and at peace...

The same principle should be applied daily for the disturbing thoughts which want to enter into your mind.

Don't open the door of your mind for them, don't let those thoughts enter your mind and let them knock hard on your door. Finally when the door doesn't open, they will have to return.

Start practicing it now, to be at peace with yourself.

You can easily identify the disturbing thoughts which are not going to add anything to your life. Why to entertain them?

Just Don't open the door to them. Let them go away.

Be Toyful to be Joyful!!!

Have you ever wondered why kids love toys so much?
The moment they see a toy, happiness on their faces is worth noticing.

As kids we all must have enjoyed the company of toys. We must have desired to own that ONE toy which we were never able to get. And then we grew up, with that desire still in our hearts.

Toys are the stress busters which help us to distract from the negative thoughts cluttering our mind. Toys help us to visualise, to distract and to relax.

If by any chance you have lived a childhood having no love for toys, then there is a range of stress buster toys available to sooth your stressed nerves. They are called the STRESS BUSTER TOYS. They include fidgeting toys, pressing toys, emotion out toys and attention diverter toys.

Next time when sitting in a meeting, you feel like playing with your pen, go and buy a nice fidgeting toy - fidget spinner or a fidget cube.

When under pressure your fist becomes tight, go out and buy a nice pressing toy - squeezy smiley ball.

When in stress, you feel like hitting wall or throwing out your stuff, just go and buy emotion out toy -  a punching bag.

When you feel frustrated after thinking thinking and lot of thinking, just go and buy attention diverter toy - magnetic blocks to divert your attention and distract from disturbing thoughts.

Just get up today and treat yourself with your favourite toy.

Bring back the toys in your life and make life toyful and joyful..

Happy you, will result in happy yours..

Love yourself..

Let it go!!

When we get hurt by thorns, what we do?

Take it out and let it heal, or do we allow thorns to reside in our body and be a part of it.

Do we get attached to the thorns?

Definitely, not. We don't allow it to be a permanent part of our body and we want to get rid of it at the earliest. We can never fall in love with these thorns, we never get attached to these thorns and we want to get them away from us.

But, why we can't live with the thorns?

Because we know that if we will allow it to be inside, it will continue hurting and paining. It can do no good to our body. Also, depending on the type of thorn, there may be chances of poison being spread to entire body. We don't want to take a chance and risk our body. So, better take it out and let it go.

Then why do we follow a different approach in case of thorns, which should be better described as PAINFUL THOUGHTS, related to unhappy events of our life, to be a permanent part of our body. Just like painful thorns these mournful thoughts are going to make our life miserable, they are going to spread the poison in our entire body, they are going to destroy our body and emotions. They are doing no good to us.

Then why we don't take them out of our body, why allow them to reside in our mind and allow them to make a permanent place there.

Why can't we follow the same approach for these painful thoughts as well?

From today onwards, let us start following the same approach. Let us take out all these thorns out of our body and be at peace. Let these painful thoughts of past be not allowed to enter our future. Let them be here only. Let us not allow them to be a part of us anymore.

LET IT GO!!!
JUST, LET IT GO!!!!

Past is gone, future is on,
Don't regret, for what has gone.
Believe in god, he is there,
Give one BIG SMILE and take care.

January 1.... Does anything changes with the New Year??

January 1,

A special date in everyone's dairy.. Marking the start of a fresh new year, gifted from GOD.....

Another year of hopes,
Another year of dreams,
Another year of opportunities,
Another year of growth....

Today morning when I was sitting with my pen and dairy to set goal for this new beginning, after long thought process, I felt something different...

Why January 1?

Why not December 31?

The date that marks the end of the year of achievements.

Date to analyse journey till date,
Date to evaluate decisions taken,
Date to assess our competencies,
Date to plan further......

To continue with the journey and be on path of achieving more without a break.

Its not important to set goals, its important to achieve goals.

Celebrate the new beginning, but don't forget the achievements.

Let us decide that, this year when we reach December 31 in our calendar, we will make sure that we have the

feeling of fulfillment,
feeling of accomplishment,
feeling of completion,
feeling of gratefulness...

Happy new beginning to all the readers....