Encounter with my Anger

Whenever I get angry, I am told that it is a bad thing. 

 

One fine day I thought to have an encounter with my anger. I sat down to listen to it and understand what it needs from me.

 

Does it want me to feel guilty? 

Does it want to ruin my image? 

Does it want me to be rude?

And all such questions.

 

It listened to me carefully and said ‘I did not hear a single word of praise for me. Am I so bad?’

 

And then I realised, that I see my anger only from a negative screen, let me change my perception once and try to understand it more rationally this time.

 

My anger is the way my body communicates with me, when it is not feeling happy. The reason of unhappiness could be any, like when my expectations are not met, when I am not being understood, when I do not receive my share of respect, when someone tries to take undue advantage of me and such similar situations.

 

It is the way my body prepare me to react to undesirable situations, that makes me feel bad. It is my body's defence mechanism to warn others and put them off. 

Then why I want to get rid of it?

 

My anger empowers me to raise my voice against oppression. It helps me to stand in all odds and against all odds. It energises me and prepares me physically to resist the wrong and take an action.

 

Anger is one of the most powerful emotion. The burst of energy that is generated when we are angry, forces us to take immediate action. It empowers us to do those difficult tasks, which may have seemed impossible otherwise. 

 

Have you felt the change in your voice or your body strength when you are angry? 

 

Can you visualise a picture of an angry animal, what do you see? 

A roaring lion or a small kitten? 

Anger makes us so powerful. It is the defence mechanism of our body to prepare us to take an action. 

It is not inhuman to get angry, but doing inhuman acts in anger have to be avoided. Anger is not bad in itself, it is the way we react in anger that makes it bad. 

"Anyone can get angry, that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way - this is not easy." 

- Aristotle

Next time when you get angry, just pause and ask yourself ‘Why’ i.e. why I am getting angry? and once you get the answer, decide ‘How’ i.e. how to respond? Focus on the reason behind the anger and try to find out the root cause, once cause is identified  then decide how to respond appropriately to get desired results, with compassion towards self and others.

   

Most of the times, when we are angry, the best thing to do is, not to do anything. Just enter  the internal cave for some time, be aware of self, pay attention to the thoughts, let them settle down and then think about the action. Once we start practicing this, it won't take more than some seconds to cool down. Just like if we want to cool down the boiling oil, we cannot put water on it, we have to wait and give it time to cool down on its own.

Just remember, if we can control our anger in front of those with higher authority, then we can definitely control it in front of all others. 

Start paying attention to your anger with compassion and try to decode the message it has for you. Respond and not react.

When you start loving what you hate, 

the things that stressed you once start healing you. 

 

 

My how is not a reaction any more, it is a response.

 

My anger helps me to connect to myself,

 

It helps to keep myself high,

 

It is because of my anger, that I know I am active,

 

It empowers me and energise.

I am thankful to my anger for making me aware,

It is a part of me that makes me thrive.

To those who think anger is a negative emotion,

It has turned me more compassionate and wise.

Poonam Madaan

To read about the author, click below link:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ca-poonammadaan/ 

Three wise monkeys of the world of entrepreneurs

Being a successful entrepreneur is a dream of many. 

Entrepreneurship is not a position, but a disposition. There are certain qualities that goes in the making of a successful entrepreneur. Let us look upon some of the essential skills required to be successful entrepreneur.

We all have heard a lot about 3 wise monkeys. Now, is the time to relook these 3 wise monkeys from the eyes of an entrepreneur. I am happy to introduce the three monkeys of the world of entrepreneurship.

Monkey 1: Open your eyes: Observer

Monkey 2: Open your ears: Listener

Monkey 3: Open your mouth: Communicator

To be a successful entrepreneur one has to acquire all these 3 qualities depicted by the 3 monkeys of the world of entrepreneurship. 

1.    Be a good Observer:

Always keep an eye on your goals. Observe things and look for all details that can help you to grow. Always look up in the sky and set a difficult benchmark for yourself. Keep checking your progress, for what you have achieved so far and at what speed. Never let your  vision fade or get blurred. Be clear about your goals and visualise yourself as an achiever. Monitor the pace of your achievements. Keep on evaluating the better ways to grow and achieve more. The hunger to grow and learn should be never ending. Be an observer, who observes even the minute details affecting the business and have a clear vision as an eagle. 

“Keep observing your own actions for self-development and observe the surroundings to identify the scope to grow.”

2.    Be a good Listener:

Always keep your ears open, opportunities may knock your door anytime. Good listeners are often the ones to respond first. Listen to others and allow them to be comfortable in sharing their thoughts. A good listener make others feel important. Listen to the ideas, feedback, complaints, reviews and suggestions. Good listeners are good learners. Listen not only to the external voices but your internal voice as well. When in doubt, listen to the voice of your soul and you will get the answer. 

“If you talk more, people may lose interest in you. But if you listen more, people will always be interested in you.”

3.    Be a good Communicator

Be aware of when, why and how to communicate, to make a mark. Good communication skills are primary to make yourself visible, to promote your business, to build your brand, to develop network, to convey your message, and what not. Communicate effectively to build strong relationships. A good communicator is a good negotiator, good sales man and great influencer.

Acquiring and developing these three primary skills will determine how rewarding your journey will be as an entrepreneur. If you think that you lack in anyone of the above skills, start investing in yourself to acquire them and be unbeatable.

About the Author:

Ms. Poonam Madaan is the founder of BFFS Training Programs and owner of the website www.breakfreefromstress.com. Through BFFS training programs she trains people to acquire essential skills to break free from stress and live a joyful life. 

She is a seasoned professional with more than 15 years of exposure in versatile corporate, education and training environment. She has experience in various walks of life. From being a Chartered Accountant, to faculty member, to certified trainer, to laughter yoga teacher, have added a lot of value & exposure to her career. She has inspired many people towards self-introspection and enabled positive transformation in them with her empathetic and optimistic approach. 

In her pursuit to add value to life of people, she developed BFFS training programs. Today, she is dedicated to help people of all ages to know the ways to break free from stress and live a joyful life. As a facilitator, she has delivered number of programs with various educational institutions and corporate houses. She has a great sense of humor, is an exceptional story teller, spiritually intelligent and effective communicator. Her sessions are highly energetic and interactive. 

She believes that “Humans are ruled by thoughts, and thoughts can be changed”.

What is your problem?

When someone goes to doctor with an illness, the doctor diagnoses the disease by enquiring and analysing. Once the root cause of illness is identified, the medicines are targeted to cure the cause and it relieves the symptoms first and ultimately cures the disease. Patient only knows the problem that he is facing and that problem (i.e. symptoms) is solved not by focusing on the problem but on the problem beneath the problem (i.e. disease), once the root cause is diagnosed the cure becomes easy.

Same applies to all problems in this world. 

If the problem is that ‘my relation with my kids is not so good’, to find cure, identify the problem beneath, that is the root cause of it. Analyse to find the root problem. Do I try to understand what they want? Do they need some liberty? Do they need some space? Do they need support? Do I try to explain them or always order? Do I impose myself on them always?

We need to ask ourself, so many questions, to diagnose the root problem. Once the root problem is identified, start to work in the right direction to get the root problem solved. Focus on solving the root problem and ultimately the problem will be solved.

I am not able to lose weight, if this is the problem, to find cure, identify the root problem by asking questions. Do I make efforts to be fit and healthy? Do I exercise? Do I eat healthy? Do I manage my time to plan for exercise? Do I motivate myself to stick to the plans? Do I have control on my cravings? Do I visualise myself to be fit? Are my efforts enough?

Identifying the root problem, aids in curing the problem fast.

Problems can be personal or professional, related to self or to relationships. Effective solution can be achieved only when the focus is on curing the root problem. To solve the problem faster, spend some time to identify the root problem and work towards curing it.

Free your life of the problems that are not problems. Identify the root problems and focus on solving them.

…. Write your problem in the comment below, or message me personally. Let us find the root problem to find the cure faster. 

Define Failure, don't let it define you

Who likes to fail?

“No one” 

But the reality is, failure is more evident than success.  We all must have faced failure at least once in our life, and it feels really bad. Whether it is a failure in career or failure in relationships, failure in professional life or failure in personal life, failure of any kind and any variety is always disgusting. Failure makes you feel helpless, shattered, devastated, demotivated, frustrated, distressed and depressed. 

When you fail, you engulf yourself with the feeling of sadness and your world becomes so gloomy.  

At that time, just let the feeling of lowness prevail for some time, don’t force it to fade. But also, don’t let it stay forever. Failure is a part of life, just like some disease. Don’t carry failures as a burden throughout your life, don't make it a cancer. 

Snooze for some time and don’t go into the power off mode.

Spend time to analyze the failure, rethink, rework and strategize again to bounce back. Learn from the failures and redefine success.

“BOUNCE BACK” with more enthusiasm.

Most of the success stories of the world, are the stories of failure. It is easy to fail, but difficult to rise again to succeed. A person who have never failed, have never learnt anything new. Failure is the best teacher.

Be failureproof.  

Enjoy life. 

Parenting yourself!

I have a relative, she is a mom of two. I feel that being a mother is the biggest project of her life. 

Full day she keeps herself so much occupied with her kids. Her day entirely revolves around her kids, she wakes up at a time that suits her kids and sleeps at a time that suits them. The activities of her day are planned totally around her kids, feeding her kids on time, teaching them discipline, helping them in their school work, making them excel in school, enabling them to learn as many skills as possible, be their bodyguard wherever they go, and the list is long.

Even when her kids are not around, she is busy planning for them. Organising their wardrobes, scheduling their day and planning their meals.

She is too much into her kids, that she even forgets herself. Many times she even forgets to comb her hair, to eat her meals on time and pay attention to her body requirements. 

Being a mother of two myself, I can fully relate to her, but I don’t think that to be a mother, you have to completely ignore your existence. You were a woman before being a mother and you had your own identity. You wanted to exist in this world because of your own interest in living. In the pursuit of making others (esp. your kids) happy, why ignore yourself completely?

Same applies to the fathers as well, when the target of your life becomes, giving best education, best standard of living and best facilities to your kids, you forget that you also exist in their life.

If something is of the utmost importance in your kids life, then that is 'YOU', their parents. They need their parents, more than anything else. You took the responsibility to bring them in this world to make your world beautiful and now your focus entirely shifted from you to them. 

Enjoy life with them, by being good to yourself first. Nurture yourself, spend some time on yourself, have some passion, learn something new everyday and add value to your identity. When you are happy, you spread the happiness around. 

Parenting has to work both sides. Be a good parent to yourself. 

Parent your kids, after you parent yourself. 

#Loveyourself

#breakfreefromstress

Effortless Happiness!

Don't make efforts to be happy, just be happy.

I was having discussion with Ms. X (let us focus on the message and not the name) yesterday. She was very upset, due to long list of her problems, which didn’t seem to be so critical to me. 

So, I asked her, what will make you happy? She said when my daughter will get married, I will be happy. 

So, you want to say that your daughter’s marriage will be the end of all your worries? She paused for a moment and replied, “How can I say that?”

Then how can you say that your daughter’s marriage will make you happy? Your happiness should not be linked to an achievement or an event. Let your happiness be independent. When you make efforts to be happy, you are always in search of those moments that can make you happy.

“When I will go on Holiday, I will be happy.”

“When I get promotion, I will be happy.”

“When my kids will grow up, I will be happy.”

“When my sales increases, I will be happy.”

And the list never ends…

Why wait for happiness, why not start practising being happy now only. Why look for the reasons to be happy. If you find it difficult to be happy, just do something to make others happy, and that happiness will come back to you. The more you give, the more you get back.

Don’t run after happiness, just be in present and enjoy the moment. Appreciate what you have and don’t focus on have nots. 

Life is too short to waste it on hunt for happiness. Happiness is not the goal, it’s the part of life.Embrace every moment happily, try to be in acceptance mode and not denial mode.

Remember: If you are not happy now, you will not be happy then.

So, Just be HAPPY!!!

How healthy you are?

Your health status is determined by taking a total of your Physical wellbeing, Mental wellbeing and Social wellbeing.

Physical fitness is determined by quality of your life and can be attained mainly by three things: Diet, exercise and lifestyle. Eating healthy, exercising regularly and maintaining healthy lifestyle (no smoking, etc.) can ensure your physical fitness.

Mental wellbeing is determined by the quality of your thoughts. A positive person is a fruit of all seasons. Every person has to face challenges in life, but those who are mentally fit will find it easy to sail through and will also help others to sail through.

Social wellbeing is determined by the quality of your connections (friends and relatives). A connected person is well supported person. If your heart thinks about others and you have the sense of belonging, you are socially fit.

Assess yourself on these three parameters and try to improve your health if there is the need.

May god bless each one of us, with good health.

#breakfreefromstress
#livehealthy
#thinkhealthy
#stayhealthy

 — feeling positive.